Not only have talks broken down between the Owners and Players, but talks have broken down between the players and their representatives. If this continues, reports indicate Derek Fisher and Billy Hunter are “gonna have it out” at 3:45pm in the quad after school. Vegas odds heavily favour D-Fish and his bulldog-like build, but never bet against the kind of old-man strength Hunter clearly possesses – he’s like James Caan in ‘Way of the Gun’. Plus, Hunter’s the type of guy that isn’t above throwing dirt in someone’s eyes during a fight. Levity aside, it’s a dark day for labour negotiations when we have player-on-rep violence. The players union will have to do some in-house cleaning before both sides get back to the negotiating table. In the interim, I will continue my protest and drink. Thirteen games on tap tonight, so let’s get straight to it.
Tonight’s Games – 13 (drink names in parentheses):
CHA @ ORL (shot of mezcal): This would be a tough game to watch as Dwight would shoot approximately 74 freethrows, and the game would basically be over by the 2nd quarter, so I had a shot that’s tough going down, but over quick.
ATL @ MIN (Labatt Blue): boring domestic beer for a boring domestic game.
CHI @ NOH (Jack n’ Coke): CP3 vs. D-Reezy, wow, I’m sad. Had my all-time favourite drink in honour of these two clashing (but I’m still sad). Was going to make a “Jannero Pargo is watching this game from Russia” joke, but a quick google search proved he's actually in the NBA who'da thunk it?
CLE @ BOS (shot of Stolichnaya [Stoli]): This one would be over quick, but you know KG and Baron would’ve had a shouting match at some point to make it interesting.
HOU @ SAC and IND @ DET (Labatt 67): Labatt 67 has 3% alcohol, hardly enough to notice, much like no one would have noticed these games.
LAL @ GS (Goldschlager): Thought the drink with the glittery gold complimented this Cali matchup.
MEM @ LAC (Alize): I feel like I would have enjoyed this game, so I chose a drink I enjoy sipping. I’d like to see Chris Kaman and Zach Randolph in a foot race. Regardless of who won, it would mark the first time ‘slow and steady’ won the race.
MIA @ NY (tall can of Hoegaarden): Hoegaarden’s one of those foreign beers that all my beer drinking friends seem to love, but I just don’t care for it. MIA @ NY has four marquee players, but I just don’t care for them.
MIL @ SAS (Labatt Blue): This game has domestic written all over it, but you know who isn’t living a ‘domestic’ life…
OKC @ PHO (Jack n’ Coke): Recently there was a changing of the guard for these two LeaguePass darlings. KD woulda dropped 47 through three quarters. No comment on the present Suns roster.
PHI @ TOR (Smirnoff Ice): The drink you order for your buddies as a joke. Not only is it effeminate, but it burns and tastes terrible going down. I ‘might’ have tuned in on LeaguePass had this game gone to OT…might.
NJN @ WAS (Jack n’ Grind): Ingredients for Jack n’ Grind: take a coffee mug, sprinkle in one table spoon of coffee grind, pour in a shot of Jack Daniel’s, enjoy. A drink created by my friends as a form of punishment. Most commonly used as a ‘pick me up’ for anyone having a lackluster night. Watching this game would have felt like punishment. I gladly take my Jack n’ Grind in place of watching it.